Prep on the Issues: Managing Expectations and Seeking Happiness with Gretchen Rubin

“By asking one simple question, 'How do I respond to expectations?' we gain exciting insight into ourselves. And when we know how other people respond to expectations, we understand them far more effectively, as well.”

At Prep for Prep, we are encouraging, supporting, and empowering tomorrow’s leaders. Becoming an effective and positive change-maker isn’t just about IQ tests and speaking more than one language; it also requires emotional intelligence. When we understand how and why we engage with others a certain way, and why they react in their own way, we can work together more effectively to reach our common goals. 

Gretchen Rubin is a New York Times best-selling author of several books including The Happiness Project and The Four Tendencies. At an intimate reading hosted by Prep for Prep Trustee Kathy Dean and her husband, Richard Krantz, Rubin spoke to Prep alumni, supporters, and staff on the four tendencies of responding to expectations and the pursuit of happiness. In conversation with Prep alum Judith Ohikuare (XXII), Rubin recommended techniques to  focus on becoming happier, not achieving happiness, through committing to a single action every month from reading more to singing each morning. 

The four tendencies examine how one responds to internal expectations such as resolutions for the new year and external expectations such as homework assignments. These observations apply to the way our students react to changing environments at their schools and in their communities.  Are they “upholders” who want to know what should be done, or “questioners” who want to understand why something is being assigned? Are they “obligers” who need other people to hold them accountable, or “rebels” who want to creatively carve their own path? “By asking one simple question, ‘How do I respond to expectations?’ we gain exciting insight into ourselves,” notes Rubin. “And when we know how other people respond to expectations, we understand them far more effectively, as well.” 

So, take some time this week to consider how you respond to the world around you. What steps can you take to cultivate a more positive environment for yourself and your community? How will you hold yourself accountable to those steps? Prep for Prep wishes you the best of luck on your own happiness project!

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Prep on the Issues is an annual speaker event hosted by a Prep for Prep board member for alumni, supporters, and staff to encourage conversations around topics that help us better serve our students. Past topics have included changing expectations around ACTs and SATs, meritocracy in higher education, and representation in science and technology careers.
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